


The Itchy and Scratchy Show, the complete edition

by orphan_account



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Brutality, F/M, The Itchy and Scratchy Show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 04:55:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6315694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they fight, they bite<br/>they fight and bite and fight<br/>fight fight fight<br/>bite bite bite<br/>the Itchy and Scratchy Shooooooooooooooow!<br/>(i can't think of a better summary, sorry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Itchy and Scratchy Show, the complete edition

“come on, Scratchy! Please!” begged the mouse as the vengeful cat bound him to a wooden cross, several boxes of explosives behind him. Some of those things even Itchy didn’t dare use in his normal ‘adventures’. “I’m begging you!”  
Scratchy, the once-normal cat who had grown vengeful over the years, paid him no attention, he picked a small dynamite and shoved it into the little rat’s left eye.  
The mouse cried in pain, but said “okay, maybe I deserved that. But please Scratchy! Let me go! For old times’ sake?”  
The cat glared at him before shoving another dynamite in the mouse’s right eye, “’old time’s sake’? like when you sued to destroy my knees with submachine guns and use my tongue as a rope? Not helping your case here, Vermin!”  
“please, buddy! Just let me go and we’ll call it even! You can leave me here and go back to your life, I swear you’ll never even hear of me again!”  
The cat growled as he shoved to dynamites in the rat’s ears, “go back to my life? Oh, did you mean my son?”  
The mouse gulped, he’d ran over the innocent kitten with a combine, on the father’s day. “my wife?” he’d decapitate her with a hat-shaped boomerang, on their wedding day. “my friends?” he’d slaughtered them all, while pretending he was doing his job as an off-duty cop, st. valentine’s day style. “my house?” he’d destroyed it, pulling the moon down with the cat’s own tongue (how he’d survived that Itchy could never understand), “my job?” well, the cat did have a lot of jobs, but all of them had ended with Itchy somehow destroying the building with every other employee still inside. Scratchy was known as ‘the Kursed Kat’ by everyone now.  
Dammit, how many lives did that cat have?  
“you’ve taken everything I had from me, scum. All because you could. Why would I ever want to call it even?” he chuckled bitterly, “be glad I’ll destroy all you love after you die!” he put a hat-shaped plastic explosive on the mouse’s head. “c’mon! I’m begging you here! I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll even share all the-“ the cat snarled “die with some dignity, rat. If I hear another word from your mouth, the next one gets shoved in your throat!”  
The rat gulped, but the cat just continued his art-work, shaping another piece of explosives like a long beard and putting it on the rat’s face.  
He walked back, aiming two hydrogen missles at the mouse’s eyes. “is this really necessary? You’ll destroy the whole town!” he said, but Scratchy replied “i.don’t.care! let this whole planet burn! Nothing in it ever helped me anyway!” and waved for his personal helicopter, hired for this occasion only. And said “well, rat. This is goodbye! If you survive this one, I’d recommend you not to let me see your face ever again, or next time I won’t stop at explosives, I’ll do everything you did, and only then will I allow you death!”  
A series of visions flashed Itchy’s eyes: grates shredding the cat into pieces. nails piercing his feet, legs, tongue, arms, hands, face. Guns blowing in his face. Chainsaws cutting him in half.   
Some of those things were too gory. How had he ever thought these sort of things was funny?  
With a final wave, Scratchy threw the lighter on the ground, lighting one of the explosives, and got in the chopper. As he left the area, he smiled in satisfaction.  
He wasn’t sadistic. Not like the filthy rat was, but he’d planned this for so long he could not help feel satisfied at the result, the final curtain, the final chapter to their tale.  
The rat had it coming anyway.  
And as Itchy cried “I’ll destroy you, Bato! You hear me? DESTROY!”, he sighed “you already have, Una, you already have.”  
And as he finally left this sad, depressing, painful chapter of his life behind, he began remembering how it all had begun, back when they were still buddies, as the rat had oh-so-carelessly called him.


End file.
